This is not new to me, it's been a long time since i had this in my heart, and will all hopes i longed wish for it to be gone, its just that, i have lived with it all my life and i am holding on to it with so much strength that not even God can take it away..
Maybe, all this time, i have been trying hard to take it out of my system but knowing that i grew up with the emotion, i think its hard to let it go just like that. The emotion grew in me and i don't even have the littlest blame for myself, its just there..
every year it grows inside me, like a monster that hungers for space, it eats me and I'm rather helpless.. only if he went away, only if she allowed it.. but there are reasons..
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